Chain donut stores - WInchells

This is actually more of a standard of excellence for me, the zen of coffee non-pretention, than any kind of actually bad coffee. Chain coffee shops like Winchells offer a peacefully bland cup of coffee that tastes perfectly generic. And I mean that in a really good way.
Really, bland doesn't do it justice. It's more... neutered. Like a neutered pet that is still a lot of pleasure but you know it won't do anything off or offensive.
And it's that kind of consistent bland coffee, along with a flourescent glare and a sullen graveyard shift clerk, that keeps all the hipsters away. So you can enjoy reading a book in perfect peace and quiet at 1am on a Friday night. Well sometimes you'll meet some stoners on a munchie run but they're pretty benign.